The Oddessey - Part Two

It begins, as all travels should, on a boat....

Well actually before the boat we travelled Japan, taking in the famous bathing monkeys at Yudanaka, the castle at Himeji, the A-bomb site in Hiroshima and more god damned Cherry Blossoms than you can poke a stick at in Kyoto. We hadn't realised when we were planning the trip that we would be in Kyoto during the 2 week long cherry blossom season. They are indeed pretty, and even the most hardened cynic will end up with four hundred photos of them, standing in front of them, close ups of them, wide shots of them over the canal down the Philosophers walk, etc. And the tranquil atmosphere of a couple of thousand Japanese tourists doing the same makes one feel that their photos are going to be unique and special.

Kyoto also introduced us to the "no the floor of my old office is a valid double room please don't touch the accounting books" style of accommodation. It was a bed and with the whole cherry blossom thing on we were probably lucky to get it. From there we went to Hiroshima just to stay at a hostel someone told us about. It is this bizarre 3 star hotel/'youth house' on top of a modern arts complex. Very strange, very plush, very cheap. Then we came to Osaka.

Osaka is much grungier than most Japanese cities, with a lot more visible homeless and crazy people. Maybe it is because it is a port town, who knows, but it is still the Japanese brand of homeless. Polite, helpful and quiet. We did the things one does in Osaka, go up big scary buildings, eat the local delicacy, Octopus Balls, which I can only describe as a hot bag of pus that breaks open in your mouth to reveal chunks of octopus. This from the people who eat fermented off soybeans, go figure.

It seemed that the very notion of travelling to china on a boat was foreign to the booking office we had to go to, but an hour and a half later with much frustration vented on staff, we were booked. That Sandles and I filled out completely different forms seemed inconsequential to convincing them that there was indeed a boat and yes they sold the tickets for it. So much for Sino-Japanese relations. But with ticket in hand, we made our way to the international ferry terminal and

It begins, as all travels should, on a boat....

We boarded thinking that we were the only westerners on a boat full of Chinese, In the terminal they had said that Sandles and I would be in the same room but when we boarded we were told no mixed rooms. But what do you do. Shortly after that we met Jo and Rus, two brits who also thought they were the only westerners on the boat and had also been told they had a shared room. So we had company in our separate boys and girls rooms. They were also doing the Trans-Mong and had been in Japan for a fortnight. We became fast friends sharing our love of crazy Japanese things and wonderous toilets. Then a couple more westerners arrived and it was clear that the chinese run boat had created a nice little ghetto for us pale devils. In good chinese fashion, as soon as they had boarded, many had either stripped down to their long johns or changed into pyjamas and had begun hanging their washing out. As soon as we cast off from the pier, the ping pong table was out and its dulcet thwacks resounded until we docked at shanghai.

On a side note, if you don't like smoking, or if you are from Melbourne and have forgotten what smoking in resteraunts was like, don't go to Asia, and don't do anything with lot's of Chinese. From boarding, a thick hase settled throughout the boat. Most places have ashtrays in the toilets here and my personal favourite was finding a new fag in the shower that someone had unsuccessfully placed in the hope that they could light up the moment the shower was over. I love them to a man but jesus. There was a non smoking room on the boat which had less people smoking than other places. Emma, an american girl studying in Nanjing asked them to stop smoking on the second day and the response was 'Why? We like it.'

Anyway, the boat set sail, lunch was called and we all headed up. There was a cafeteria style room and a fancy restraunt style room. Try as we might, we were never allowed in the caff. But we soon worked out we got the same food in the other side so no biggie. After promenading for a while on the top decks it was time to change into the lounge suits and head for dinner. As with all our meals, though we saw Chinese tables with different food, we were only ever allowed a set meal, but they war all great so no complaints there. Beer was stupidly cheap so we began toasting our respective voyages quite often. Then the room darkened and we learned that it was Karaoke time for the tour group. We were quite merry, with Jo, Russ and I pollishing off long necks with ease and sandles nursing a bottle of Great Wall Red. Lot's of cheering at the end of songs, lots of clapping the few who danced, lots more drinking. By that stage, Emma and her friend Ashley had joined us so we began to learn to count in Chinese. Fun. All of a sudden a familiar sound was heard, as a nod to us, the tour leader had put on an english song so we joined the group for a truly stirring rendition of Edelwiess, the Karaoke video of London, Amsterdam, dolphins and powerboats perfectly complementing the collective feeling in the air. This is what turned us from the table to take photos with, into the fairground attraction and best friends forever with anyone who felt like it table, particularly the Tour Leader who graciously said that for the rest of the night, he would buy the drinks. And there was only one drink. A saucy little chinese beer called REEB. 2 parts formaldehyde, one part colour, one part fizz, 10% alchohol and all taste. The rest of the night went swimmingly. I danced, Jo and I became the tour leader's special friends and I played some very drunk ping pong doubles.

After a late drinking session with a chinese news crew on the tour and us all running out to look at the blackness of the night (a black only the seafarers amongst you can know) I woke up in a toilet and staggered back to bed.

The next day was seedy to say the least and that night, the tour leader tried hard to get the crowd started but it wasn't to be. He did however get drunk enough to challenge Russell to a few fights for Jo's hand, and fondle my breasts and crotch and tell me he loved me and I was Mr Number one. When that wouldn't keep us there, he told me a girl loved me to but it didn't work.

The next morning we began sailing upriver and into Shanghai. It is a great way to arrive in a city and the terminal was drab but fast.

Most of you know what happened on that first night in Shangers so I wont repeat it.

I am out of internet time now dear readers so I shall leave you gasping for the next thrilling installment which takes us from Shanghai, to the beauty of Huang Shan and Tai Shan and thence to Beijing and beyond. Til then,

Cheers,

Toby