The Oddessey - Part Four

Mongolia..... Land, as the Lonely Planet would have you believe, Without Fences.

Actually as dawn broke on the train we noticed that I was not only a year older and therefore thirty, but also the Lonely Planet was completely wrong. Much of what we saw out the window was fenced, be it round the gers that we passed, or just along the train line to stop flocks getting flattened by us. But now that I was old enough to put such literary quibbles aside I was able to appreciate the beauty of the sparse desert and mountains and the entire lack of people. Our lovely train companions from Cork offered up a wagon wheel as a birthday cake and a feast was had. It did make a change from rolling over in one's own bed and thinking, another one bites the dust. The other main train event was the drop in temperature from Beijing's balmy 32 to Mong's 12 hurrah.

Our hostel owner was there to pick us up as was English friend Russ. Actually Zaya the hostel lady was there to pick up three new Zealanders who had actually confirmed their booking properly but she took us in anyway and deposited us in our extremely cushy room. As we prepared to go out into the streets of UB all of the other people in the hostel told us not to take our day packs and try to look poor. So no photos of downtown but it can be summed up with few words. Soviet. OK that's one word but that and the copious amounts of shops called Chingis something or other and you get the picture. As was becoming routine we ran into Russ and Jo on the street and went to a great Mongolian cafe for 5 different ways to eat mutton which were all great, then beers at one of the traditional German beer houses cropping up on every street corner.

The next morning we were off to Terelj with the three new zealanders for our first taste of Mongolia proper. We drove past stunning rock formations and plains. We took photos of stunning rock formations and plains. Our camp was with a family that have a spare ger for small groups of tourists. Nice and more authentic than a tourist ger. After having some traditional Mongolian tea which consists of a bowl of warm yak milk with the hint of tea flavour and, of course, added salt to taste, we were presented with our lunch which was horse and noodles. Lovely. Then it was out of the ger to ride horses across the steppes. I would like to say that I galloped, aragorn style through the stunning landscape. The landscape was indeed stunning and if you meant by aragorn style trotting fairly briskly whilst trying to take photos and some very jerky video, then I did it. It is stunning and I tried to feel at one with the the great Khan who had a beard too. Back in time for more horse in fried pastry and some rousing mongolian dust soccer. Believe it or not dear readers, I scored the first goal of the match and only felt like having a mild heart attack.

Back the next morning to UB via a charming Russian monument overlooking the city that has a circular mosaic showing how the lovely Russians came and befriended the mongols and showed them how to truly be happy and maybe murdered a couple of thousand monks and peasants but really aren't we all better off? Not of you're a monk. The effect of the monument was made physical by it getting more bitterly cold and windy the closer we got to it, not that stopped a couple of Mongol teenagers wearing mini-skirts from enjoying it but I have accepted that I am neither as young or as Mongolian as they and didn't bear them any ill will. It is incredible to see a guy wandering around in a singlet when you are in a polarfleece and hat. It was heartening to realise though that that doesn't mean he doesn't feel chilly, he's just cooler than that.

The next day we were deposited in the trusty Russian 4wd of Erkah who was to be our guide and driver for the next three days. He spoke little English, about as much as I spoke mongolie but as most of the over 30 population does, he had a fair smattering of Russian. SO to the beautiful strains of 'How deep is your Love' and, surprisingly, 'Especially for You' we set off to Khakhorin, ancient capital of the Khans. There are about two thousand kilometres of sealed road in Mong, however you have to remember that sealed is merely an adjective and the reality is that more comfortable driving is to be had on either the gravel shoulder or, as is more usual, about fifty meters away from the road. We bounced along for six hours along and beside the road before making a definitive veer towards a spectacular mountain range. We hadn't asked to go there but we were doing well just going with the flow. We ended up at a ger at the foot of the mountains owned by some friends of his, a wizened old couple and their grandchildren. And their satellite tv and solar power. Unlike the family we stayed with in Terelj, this was most definitely the real thing and after a refreshing cup of mare's milk tea we were told that we would be sleeping on the floor and did we have sleeping bags. We did back in UB and it feels great to lug something half way round the globe and not have it the only night you need it. But as it can get freezing fairly regularly there was no shortage of blankets and the goat dung fire was well stoked all night. Up in the mountains we visited a monastery which, in Mongolia, guarantees it to be a pile of rubble and you will get to hear how many monks the Russians killed. It was a very pretty pile of rubble as those silly enough to ask to see all our photos will soon be able to confirm.

After a much nicer meal of mutton and noodles and a good nights floor sleeping we were off to the ancient city of kharkhorin and the monastery of Erdne Zhu, built on and with the ruins of the former. We went via the mini Gobi, a bizarre strip of desert that runs from china to Russia. Erkah said that you get the idea and if you see that, there's no real need to go to the big one. Point taken, pictures snapped and away we went.

The monastery looks imposing on approach with its 150 stuppes on the walls (white pointy Buddhist things). And the lack of trees made it hard to see that it was fucking windy and cold but as soon as our guided tour (unwittingly bought with the price of entry) began we felt it. Like everywhere else, the Russians destroyed most of it but the Manchus had made a decent fist of destroying the city before that, leveling it to the ground. Also much of the city and palaces had been gers. Big gers that could seat 300 comfortably but wool felt doesn't stand the test of time too well. It was pretty and striking but there was the sense of familiar about the temples and a sense of 'mmm, yes that flat bit of ground would have been really something if the tent and the silver fountain that squirted mare's milk, yak's milk and mead were still standing or even in ruins. It does look great though and the stone turtle marking the boundary of the ancient city makes for a great picture. We had planned to stay in the town for a night but on realizing that the modern town is a complete hole we decided to head back to the mountains, but not before taking in the final offerings of the area. A modern monument shows the mongol empire at the height of it's glory and gave us a great view of the approaching dust storm. Then, mid dust storm, with only about 3 metres visibility, erkah got us to the famed penis rock. We had assumed that it was a rock naturally shaped like a penis, instead we found a two foot high granite equivalent of what everyone has made out of clay at least once. It really looked like a penis, so much so that I was bemused that Erkah felt the need to pat my crotch to illustrate to me what it was, but i added it to the list of countries I have been felt up in and off we drove.

I would agree that it was very funny that we had said goodbye and had come back again, like the grandma thought, but we found it funnier to be sitting in the ger drinking our mare's milk happily when four Swiss tourists drove up to see a genuine family and their ger and found us. But after the hilarity had died down and we and the kids had a great kite flying session it was our bedtime, not the four year olds because it was still light. In the morning we said our goodbyes, laughed at jokes in mongolie that we would be back tonight and went on our way. Back to the civilization of UB and the train, now Russian, and the next stop....